Go for a walk – or why you need a trysting place

A quick recap

Let’s recap what we’ve covered so far in the previous couple of posts: you’ve agreed the review is important, you’ve had a think about the time and space you’re going to do it in, and you’ve ‘foreshadowed’ some focus time if necessary.

You can get up to speed with what we’ve covered so far on this page: The Review Time Advent Calendar

Your trysting place

Have you heard of the phrase ‘trysting place’? It means ‘meeting place’ but it also suggests that

  1. the place is special somehow
  2. there’s a commitment involved.

I learnt to apply that term to ‘meetings with myself’ when I was younger, because my family were religious and I think it was in one of the spiritual books I read back then. I’m not religious any more, but I still find the idea of ‘meetings with myself’ really valuable. So the next step is to find a trysting place. That is:

  1. somewhere special to you (it could be a café or a favourite walking spot, it doesn’t have to be extraordinary) and
  2. you commit to turning up in it.

Go for a walk

Now I want you to go for a walk. Plan it in advance and involve your trysting place in the walk somehow. For example, if it was me, I’d go for a walk along the beach and end up in my favourite cafe. There’s no need to answer any particular questions on the walk, but use the time to ponder what might come up when you do your review.

The power of mulling (or ‘Mulled wine? Yes, please!’)

Why do this? If you mull something over in advance, without forcing yourself to come up with answers, your brain gets a chance to work away at the problem ‘in the background’ so that you won’t be on completely new territory when you get to your review time.

Going to a walk and pondering things like this is also a way of being gentle with yourself. The kind of review you’re going to do isn’t dictatorial or stressful – quite the opposite – it’s about giving yourself some space, looking after yourself and noticing your concerns, your dreams, your ideas.

Next up: Practice being unavailable


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